a) Each child gets easier after the first.
-thus farly :-), nic has been our most challenging child. but some things have gotten easier simply because we've had more practice and more of an understanding that "this too shall pass".
b) Our expectations for each child after the first, go down.
-for us, things like potty training, sleeping through the night, eating everything put in front of...etc. have definitely become less of an issue. we realize that some things are not worth the path to insanity that they surely lead to. behaviourally, we have not lowered our expectations...we have altered our beliefs about what is reality and what is fantasy though.
c) We become better parents with each additional child.
-i don't say this to mean that if you have 10 children you are 10X the parent compared to someone with one. i mean that we learn from our successes and failures and for us it's only natural to assume that we get better with more practice and more personalities to challenge us. we work better as a team, we are better at backing each other up, etc. if we weren't getting better at it then we aren't growing. we trust God completely to give us guidance and perseverance.
d) All of the above.
-for me and Chad it wouldn't be accurate to say that only one of these are true. parenting is a learning process for us, and we know that we have miles to go before we finish the marathon. we rely heavily on prayer and trust that with Christ we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS!
19 comments:
I would say d) all of the above.
:0)
what do you think?
I think its a). I think as a first time mom you are so nervous about doing everything right and teaching everything the right way. Once you have that mastered with the first, you already have a routine by the time the next kid comes around.
Definitely D! : )
Right now I would say none of the above. Each child did not get easier for us. I hope our expectations stayed high with each child, and as far as becoming better parents, the work continues each and every day!
I would have to say all of the above. Each child is different and requires different things but I think our expectations for each one is the same. I would hope that I am becoming a better parent all the time. It definitely is good to have the experience under the belt for each child. I often tell people that for me it was a lot harder going from 1 to 2 children than it was going from 2 to 3. And quite honestly I am not nervous about going from 3 to 4. I have 3 kids, all with very different personalities and I feel confident about adding another to the mix. I think experience in parenthood is the best tool there is.
I'm curious about your opinion.
Heidi,
For me it's a no-brainer. All of the above. After all, I am the expert at having NO CHILDREN !!!
But, you might have to lower your 'expecations' on me (hehe)!
U.A.
All of the above.
At least that's the case for me.
What do you think?
I don't even have a clue because I have only one kiddo. If it's "a" or "c" I'll have to consider more than one.
Heidi,
I change my vote to C. What was I thinking???
U.A.
For sure D) all of the above. I would however, like to add another option. Siblings are the best mentors. Older siblings demonstrate acceptable and unacceptable behavior and the newest addition to the family sees which behavior gets the desired response. I think subsequent children perhaps can often learn by example and don't need to learn pragmatically all the time.
By-the-by do I understand that you are expecting #4 Teresa? Are you and Heidi in a race that I didn't hear about? If so congrats, if not I'm good at starting those rumors.
None of the above...my first one was by far the easiest. My second one is too much like me and challenges me every day!
D--all of the above, but I would like to add E) we grow weary with age--and drink more! (ha ha)
Shane,
Robb and I are adopting a little girl from China....that will be #4 for us! Now you know....don't be watching for my belly to grow. :-)
I don't think a - because my second one is more challenging than my first - but, she is more like me.
I can agree a little bit with b - I lowered my expectations as far as pushing them to get to the next stage.
I agree with c - but would say we get better with each additional day as long as we look to God for how we are to be as parents - God gives us the strength we need to take care of those put in our care - if we ask for it!
I say none of the above. I don't for a minute think parenting gets easier with each child if anything it gets more challenging once they are teenagers as you spend a lot of time and energy on one child's challenges, rebellion or misbehavior (yes it happens to the best of us!!) then guilt sets in for the time spent on that one child; also as they all have their differences it takes time and patience to learn to understand and love each of them for who they are which at times can be challenging
I don't think my expectations have changed with #2 or #3 they may have been adjusted to fit each child's personality and abilities but for each of them they are encouraged to do their best even though 'best' may be different
As for better parents I would say possibly more open minded, more experienced not sure that parenting more children makes us better parents but believe that when I got to that point in life when I turned to God rather than relying on my self for the answers that is when I became a 'better ' parent. I also became a better parent when I stopped taking ownership of my childrens mistakes that was a HUGE one for me
What the heck? Before I went to bed this morning I had this really great response. I'm back at 'almost 3' and it's not here. Somedays Blogger and I are just not BFF.
Great post Heidi.
I agree with all of the above.
I agree with the looking for God's guidance for parenting.
Go visit Andrea's latest post about Miranda. Other mom's should pay her a visit too.
I noticed one thing growing up. My dad was MUCH more patient with his last child than he was with me (his first child).
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