Ode to the Carnival

How do I get talked into this stuff? Seriously.

The traveling "carnival", and I use that term to mean, vile, disgusting, disturbing, bacterial, atrocious, freakin' scary form of entertainment, came to town last weekend. Not a big deal to me.

My hard-working and observant husband (the carnival is set up right outside his office) came home Friday from work and said, "Hey the carnival's in town!", with an odd amount of cheerfulness, then added, "it looks pretty rough though." I responded, "The people are always creepy at that stuff, Chad." He said, "No, I mean like duct-taped up rides, creepy." I volunteered, "Well, we don't need to go then." To which he said, "Well, not that creepy."

So, we went. How bad could it really be, right? Besides, I had read just earlier that day that two very classy moms were taking their kids. And kids don't mind creepy people...that just adds some flavor. I wasn't a very enthusiastic attendee and made sure that my husband knew just how badly I opposed his attempt at family fun. He was so happy he brought me along, I could tell. Once we actually got to the carnival, even his cheerfulness seemed dim compared to the odd population and foul stenches emanating from the area.

Being a people watcher I let my eyes wander over the sea of faces looking for one familiar face that would ease the panic constricting my airways and threatening to send me into hyperventilation. Who were these people? Granted we've only lived here for two short years, and I don't get out much, but I was beginning to wonder if we had entered the twilight zone. Not the gas station clerk, not the lady that rings me up at the grocery store, not the Librarian, no local law enforcements officers, not the kids from our church youth group, not the ladies at the gym, not the book store clerk....NO ONE FAMILIAR!

"Chad, this is not a good sign...why don't we recognize anyone here?" I muttered under my breath. "Oh relax, I told you I saw Ferber here earlier," he replied.

Determined to carry on like this was another day at Disneyland, we made our way to the ticket counter. The fine young maiden running the traveling E Coli booth suggested that we purchase the 20 sheet of tickets for $15. Done.

As we browsed about at our ride options we were indecisive as to which wonder we should experience first: The Spinning Tea Cups, which used to be green but now were a lovely shade of RUST, The Spinning Apples, which we were informed by a nice young man had been the trigger to a vomiting incident just earlier that day, The Carousel, The Circling Pink Elephants, The Ferris Wheel, that only allowed four of the 12 cars to be filled, or the gas powered miniature Viking Ship...yes, lawn-mower-engine-gas-powered...the vroom, vroom noises of this one were exhilarating.

Well, ride they did. But $30 later, I was more certain than ever that this would be our last hoorah as Carnies.

*editor's note: we did run into one family that we consider friends, they were stumbling around looking as horrified as we were. in their defense, they moved here just months after we did..... thankfully they agreed to ditch the dump and meet us back at our house for a pleasant bon fire!