I use to sit down in front of my computer and my thoughts would pour out of my mind trickling to my fingertips quicker than I could type them. I felt like I had so much to say and share.
Now I sit down and stare at a blank page.
Nothing. I've got nothing. Or do I?
What happened? Did I suddenly go from so much relatable material to nothing of significance? I mean, more kids should mean more material...right? And it isn't that they have gotten less entertaining....believe me. So what is it?
After much pondering and evaluation I have developed a theory. I am in a listening phase of my life right now.
Stop laughing. Seriously.
No, listening doesn't necessarily mean an absence of talking. Ask my husband...or my children. Second thought, don't ask them, they wouldn't necessarily agree with my theory as they tend to be the only people for whom I NEVER run out of language.
But this 'lack of interesting thought' is not isolated to just my blogging hobby. I have noticed that in other areas of my life---the other stages on which I perform, I am stepping farther and farther backstage, out of the lime-light, not meant to imply that I have ever been a star. At least anywhere but in my own mind.
So this new phase, listening; I don't know that I chose this pattern. Like most everything in my life, I tend to believe that there is an Almighty directing my choices far more than I could imagine. And apparently He thinks I have done talking quite long enough. I guess maybe it is a bit more difficult to listen effectively if you are already thinking of something to say in response. At least for someone with border line attention deficit, like myself.
Listening. One of my favorite songs is an unknown track by a Fargo, ND native, Dave Lubben. It's called, "Speak to Me". The line that speaks to me the loudest is this:
"if there's anything in my life, that doesn't honor You tonight, I'm listening Lord, speak to me, speak to me."
