Toddler Tuesday

Upon discovering the seeds in the middle of her apple:






"Maoooommmm, why did you put NUTS in my apple?"

Are you an online shopper?

I have to admit that I love the convenience of shopping at my fingertips. I didn't think that I would be able to make the transition from in-store shopping to online shopping quite so easily...but yep, I did it. The truth is I have never been much of an in-store shopper anyway.

Amazon, Kohl's, The Children's Place, Old Navy...these are just a few of my frequent stops and often the recipient of my cash in exchange for their timely delivery of the items I've chosen from the comfort of my own home. I have surfed through many more online shops only to be disappointed by one small detail: SHIPPING RATES.

Ladies and gentlemen of the cyber-selling-to-home-consumer-world...you lose costumers when you charge exorbitant shipping fees. I know that it costs money to ship items out to me, but it's a poor decision when you choose to have the consumer either A) absorb all of the actual shipping cost or B) as the retailer attempt to profit from the shipping fees.

I can have an entire virtual shopping bag full with excellent deals and unique items only to DUMP IT ALL when I see that the shipping rates are $12.99. (Which I just recently did) I refuse to spend my money on ridiculous fees instead of product. I'd be more likely to shop if at the point right before I "CONFIRM" a window popped up demanding that I spend an additional $10 on a fuzzy monkey bearing the logo of the shop if I want to ensure free shipping. I HATE PAYING SHIPPING FEES.

Why am I repeat shopper at the above mentioned places...GOOD SHIPPING RATES. Kohl's continually offers shipping discounts or free shipping for $$ spent, Amazon is always just ridiculously cheap, and my personal favorite is the shipping policy of stores like Old Navy and The Children's Place...FLAT $5 SHIPPING RATE. How can I argue with that? Not to mention that every item purchased on-line can be exchanged or returned at all locations. That my friends is the kind of customer service I like.

What sells you on shopping at the click of a mouse?

If I could only have two...

If I could only have two cleaners in my home this is what they would be hands down.

By now everyone knows the life changing effects of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. (There is an improved scrubbing Eraser too that I haven't tried yet.) We each probably have our very own miraculous story of how it removed the irremovable. But every day, well not every day...I don't clean every day, I find new ways to use this revolutionary cleaning device.

Most recently...my bathtub. Now, I've used it to clean the bathtub before and I knew that it did well in this area. But I recently was standing in the bathroom about to put my kids into the tub when I noticed the small amounts of soap scum, the L.A.Y.E.R.S. of forgotten about scum lining the floor and walls of the tub. I'm not talking about the I-cleaned-last-week-and-now-it's-a-bit-slimy-this-week, kind of soap scum. I'm talking I-cleaned-when-there-was-still-snow-on-the-ground, scum.

Well, I grabbed my Eraser and some standard bathroom spray and got ready for a good scrubbin' that would later make my back ache and cause my hand to cramp. Not the case. With the first wipe of my Eraser (which was an old, scuzzy, left-over one that should have been thrown out ages ago) the scum vanished before my eyes. I had to do a double take to be sure I wasn't just imagining it. Seriously...you may think I'm over-reacting to this experience, not so. It was make me giddy, have a toast, good stuff.

The other must have in my cleaning arsenal is Clorox Disinfecting Wipes. (Mr. Clean has a version of this too, haven't tried it.) These also are nothing new to the market. But they are fabulous as well. I actually ENJOY cleaning when I get to use these. I use them on everything from the toilet to the toys. It just doesn't get any simpler than that.

No, I have not become a product sponsored blog. I should be I tell you. Believe me with the dirt we can stir up, I have tried much and know what is worth it's weight in gold. I just thought I'd share...please do the same. Which two would you choose?

Got to love the way she thinks

I was outside in the yard with the kids the other day. After pushing them for awhile, I decided to sit my rump in the swing to relax. Unfortunately my hind quarters didn't fit in the swing. So I said to the girls,

"Geeze you guys, mom's butt doesn't fit in the swing!"

Kate replied: "That's okay Mommy."

I said, "Well what do you suppose we should do? Should mom get a smaller butt?"

Kate smiled and said, "No mama, we can juss get a bigga swing."

Ya know, that would probably be a lot easier anyway.

Sometimes it doesn't take very much....

...to make me smile.

~Being the first to dip into a new jar of peanut butter.

~Openg the dishwasher to find it's been unloaded.

~Hearing one of my kids ask Jesus for help.

~The delicious aroma of coffee grounds hitting my nose when I open the can.

~When someone compliments my hair.

~Seeing my husband pick Drew up for a diaper change.

~Listening to Katy annoy/entertain Nic and Olivia with her bizarre sense of humor.

~Watching Kerrie's video blogs.

~Getting carded when I buy my Heineken.

~My husband suggesting a Moolatte run.

~Realizing at the end of the day that I had my underwear on inside out.

~Getting a real email from a dear friend.

~Hearing "I was made to love" by TobyMac on the radio.

~Singing "Michael Finnigen" with the kids.

~Finding and eating the last bit of chocolate in the house.

~Playing with Abbi-Chanko on my bed after the kids are asleep.

~Seeing how excited the kids get when I suggest a freezie break on the swing.

~Feeling Andrew's hands searching for my tummy when he's tired.

~Hearing Chad sing to the kids at bed time.

~Hearing my mom's special ring tone coming in on my cell phone.

~Watching Nicholas tie his own shoelaces.

~The look on Chad's face when he opens the door at night to four running kids.

~Seeing pregnant women or newborn babies.

It all comes back to Seinfeld

(Caricature done at Valleyfair. Yep that's me, the dope smokin', collagen injecting, beaver.)

This past weekend I was able to cash in my Mother's Day present. A weekend away with my husband. This was the first time that we've gotten away when I am not nursing a child or pregnant. (Yee-Haw) Chad commented over and over at how relaxed and pleasant I was...duh!

Chad purchased us tickets for a dinner theatre. We had three different options in plays, and not claiming to have a deep understanding of the fine arts, we were stumped as to which one to choose. UNTIL....Kool mentioned that she'd been to a Broadway show and that nothing compared to Les Miz. Which I think is New York street talk for what us Midwesterners would fumble out "Les Miserables". Sounding very un-French like when pronounced something like: L-E-S-S M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E.

Anyway, taking her obvious knowledge over mine I suggested to my husband that we choose Les Miserables. I didn't dare tell him that I took this advice from a blogging compadre, as he already finds the whole thing rather weird.

Kool, you made an excellent recommendation. It was amazing. In fact, I even overheard two women in the restroom saying that they enjoyed this performance MORE than the one they'd seen on Broadway simply because they could understand the words much more clearly, which was probably not a compliment to the actors' attempts at French accents.

Although I enjoyed the entirety of the evening and show, there was one special moment when my eyes lit up and tears formed...kind of like the scene from "Pretty Woman" when Richard Gere takes Julia Roberts to the opera. It was when the scene "Master of the House" began. I looked over at Chad all giddy and nudged him gently as I said, "This is from Seinfeld! Do you remember?" He shook his head and tried to shush me. Not to be deterred so easily, I said, "No, seriously...that episode where Elaine's dad meets Jerry and George. And George is singing it? And it annoys her dad and then he ends the show singing it in his car alone? Don't you remember?"

Isn't it a shame that all of my high culture comes from Seinfeld?

Well, we did much more than just the show...almost too much. But we enjoyed each minute of it and loved being able to hold hands, steal kisses, and talk uninterrupted. We also LOVED coming home and being attacked by four little people as they tripped over one another to tell the tales of their weekend. Life is good.

(click on each heart to see it enlarged)

Click to play Make your own Smilebox

Tell me it ain't so

Today is July 23rd.

One month is August 23rd.

School starts in one month.

Are you kidding me?

What lies beneath?

You have all been extremely influential in some of my most major life crisis'...well, maybe that's a stretch. But when I have had bra shopping trauma or swimsuit depression you have always come through for me with your tricks and trade secrets. So, I am calling on you again.

Are you an underwear loyalist? Is there a brand, style, and material that you swear by? Have you worn the same underwear for, let's say a year? Well not the same underwear, because frankly, that would be disgusting, but you know what I mean. If you were nodding "yes, yes" to yourself like some kind of nut...please share your secret.

I am a underwear hopper. Yes, an underwear hopper. I hop from one brand to the next, one style to the next, one size to the next (unfortunately), one material to the next. Over the years that I have been purchasing my own underwear...and that must be something like 16 years now, I have hopped from bikini to low rise to boy cut to nylon to cotton to invisible line to seamless to tummy control....and countless others. No folks, I never made the jump into g-strings or thongs. Seriously, never. Some things just don't need to be experienced.

I have learned a few things over the years. If you find a style that you like...and I mean L.I.K.E., don't just purchase the three pair that you need right now. Go into that store and all others in your town and buy every last pair in your size. Yes, even if you need to take out a small loan. I am not kidding people! I can not tell you how many times I have come home from Kohl's or Target with a new pair of underwear, you know wanting to give them a test drive, and discover that I love them. Only to return within a few months to purchase more and guess what? They stopped making that style!!

So tell me, any of you brave souls, where you buy your underwear. Are you faithful to your brand? Do they still make them? And yes, any of you thong, g-string wearers...be bold and feel free to tell us all how comfortable they really are. I will still think you are freakin' nuts. I promise to listen and take your arguments with me to the store the next time I am out shopping for new underwear.

The choices we make....

Have you ever had to watch someone you love go through something that you just can't control and it rips your heart out? Of course you have. We all have. I guess it's the 'Great Circle of Life' that Mufasa tries to teach Simba.

Some of the things we watch others struggle with are out of their control. But really so much of our own hurts in life come from our own poor choices. While it is horrible to watch someone we love struggle with things whether the choices were their own or forced upon them, it is especially difficult when it is affecting more than just themselves.

There have been moments in the past several weeks that I have been in a happy environment doing happy things when such sadness and sorrow overcome me. I am confused and alarmed as to why my mood can so quickly become something else. Then I realize that I am being called to intercede, or feel for another for the sake to bring prayer to God for them, the sorrow that they are experiencing.

Does my sorrow and sadness do anything to help them? It does if I offer it to the Lord. It does if I stop in that previous moment of happiness to feel this sadness and pray for them. It's not my favorite form of prayer but it is a powerful form of prayer.

I know that I've made poor decisions in my life. I know that I will make more. I know that there have been intercessory prayers lifted up for me. I just pray that the ones that I hurt along the way love me more than I hurt I cause them. I pray that in my selfish choices, I don't become a selfish person. I pray that each time that I fail, I ask forgiveness and intend to do better. I pray that others are not forced to pay for my laziness or anger or pride. I pray that each day that I live I become more His and less of myself.

In case you were wondering

Recently, Amanda wrote about things that made her cranky. Her list cracked me up and got me thinking about the things that most annoy me. I know, you are all dying to hear this. So, here you go.


WHAT ANNOYS HEIDI JO?


-People.

Hope I didn't leave anything out.

Anyone got the number for an exterminator?

I can totally understand why you (the ants...tiny red devils from hades) would choose my home to reside. I mean, it's a no brainer. At any given moment of any given day there is sure to be something sweet and sticky stuck to the floor of my kitchen. I'd pick my house too...all I'm asking is that you (the ants...creepy disgusting vile urchins) respect the boundaries with which I am comfortable. I promise to allow my cleaning to lapse just long enough to ensure your survival as long as you (the ants...foul dirty rotten vermin) promise to remain in the designated areas. No climbing the walls and cupboards to reach my sink, garbage can or pantry. If this is not acceptable to you (the ants...plague-like infested intruders), I can not be held responsible for your (the ants'...horrid intrusive unwelcome scum) untimely death due to the toxic poisons that I possess and am not afraid to use. I may appear loving and pro-animal...but don't push it. I'm a lady on the edge, seriously.

Ordinary me

Most days I am okay to believe that given the right circle of women or men I would appear fairly intellectual and competent in most areas of discussion. In my mind, I see it played out where I am surrounded by people, all very sophisticated in appearance (as am I, of course), and we are discussing current issues in foreign policy, border control, nutritional decline...etc. I am able to hold my own and even occasionally cause the group to laugh at my witty commentary.

Okay, so that's in my head...not reality.

Reality is, that most days I am quite comfortable with my ability to appear, (if not truely be), informed and enlightened on the issues and topics of the world. I am a fairly confident individual and although far from scholarly, I do possess a very well-rounded knowledge of most things general. (intentionally vague)

But then I get out of these four walls. I walk among people with professions, multiple degrees, and specific expertise. My knowledge, expertise, and well-roundedness, is but a speck in this society of intellectuals, policy changers, innovative thinkers, and ground-breakers.

There are no ribbon cutting ceremonies highlighted by the press when I finally get a toddler potty-trained. My face isn't on the front page of the paper surrounded by my own words in an interview, after I successfully negotiate a peace talk between my combating children. I'm not honored at a city banquet for my efforts to bring a higher moral standard to the local public in the form of polite children.

My feelings of confidence don't follow me out of these four walls. I am confident in my vocation...I know that this is what I am called to do. But walking out of this castle of full-time motherhood and into the land of professional enchantment leaves me feeling very uninteresting.

I know that what I do is important, but it is oh so ordinary. What I do won't be remembered by historians or make me famous. I can live with that. I just wish that the Baby Einstein DVD's that promise to create a genius out of my child didn't seem to have an opposite effect on this adult.

Speak to me

"I want to be where You are;

I want to know, Lord, who You are;

So when You call my name,

I'll say to You here I am;

I'm listening, Lord, speak to me.

I want to see how You see;

Change my heart, Lord, and make me holy;

If there's anything in my life

that doesn't honor You tonight;

I'm listening, Lord, speak to me,

Speak to me."

~Dave Lubben

(Dave is an artist from Fargo, ND. If you click on his name link it will take you to a page where you can hear part of the above song. His music is change your life beautiful!)

Shopping at Scheel's with Chad

Me: "Hey hon, look what I found on the sale rack!" (Showing him a vintage lookin' Vikings t-shirt and a Reebok hooded Vikings sweatshirt) "The t-shirt was $29.99 and now $7.99 and the hooded sweatshirt was $49.99 and now $12.99!"


Chad: "I didn't know that I needed a new t-shirt and sweatshirt."


Okay, so maybe our kids get their 'disposable' mentality from me. Maybe I'm the one with my wants vs. needs mixed up. I can admit that...I guess.


But here's my line of thinking: No, we didn't come into Scheel's for a t-shirt and sweatshirt. But here they are, quality items, reduced substantially. We may not need them now or even at all. But when fall rolls around and we are all hopped up on NFL mania around here (which we always are...me included), that will NOT be the time to look for a new team t-shirt and sweatshirt. Normally I would not let his lack of enthusiasm squelch mine about finding an awesome bargain.


This time I did. I walked the items back over to the rack, put them back with a sigh and a small tear...and walked out of Scheel's with only what we came in for.


*note: this is not the place for you Viking haters to comment about the sale rack being the only place for Vikings wear.

Heidi Jo's been doing what?

In case you are interested in what's been keepin' me from the computer.....

Click to play Make your own Smilebox

Acknowledgment

Thank you very much both Leigh Ann at Momma Roar, and Elizabeth at Motherhood is Not a Cussword, for sharing their title of "Rockin' Girl Blogger" with me.

I'll admit that in general I find these things kind of silly and usually just ignore them altogether. They seem to go in cycles. It's like an epidemic, as is most posting in Blogger Land. Someone changes templates....everyone changes templates. Someone posts a MEME (we all know how I feel about these)....everyone posts a MEME. Someone stumbles on a new 'award' and we all start passing it around.

Honestly, I shy away from them mainly because I feel like I am in junior high again and it's a popularity contest. We all wait to see who will be named as a "Rockin' Girl Blogger", or "Thinker Blogger" next. I know that some of you take the approach of dubbing all of your readers with the award, and some of you play along out of fun and the spirit of participation. Both are great approaches, for me, I just usually find it best to ignore it, because it will pass.

So, why didn't I this time? I'm craving some praise? Possibly. Really I just thought I would use this opportunity to let you know that I appreciate all of you who read and interact with me on a daily basis. I am honored and humbled that anyone wants to read my ramblings and even more honored that some of you consider me 'rockin'.

I started this blog for myself. I started it because I love to write, it brings me joy to express daily life things in a way that hits a chord with others. I love nothing more than when someone says, "Hey, that same thing happens here!"

Most of you who know me at all, know that I have a pretty healthy level of self confidence. But hopefully you also know that the way in which I write is intended to be snarky and sarcastic much of the time. My blog title, "Heidi Jo What do you Know?" is an example of that. In my opinion the answer to that question could/should be..."Who the he** cares?" or "Not a whole dang lot!"

In conclusion, I am not passing on this award to anyone specific. And I am not dubbing you all as honorary "Rockin' Girl Bloggers". I am just saying thank you for reading, thank you for interacting, thank you for disagreeing, thank you for making me laugh, thank you for stickin' with me and making my days a little brighter. Oh by the way, you all rock!

(if any of you want to copy and paste the award into your side bar feel free)

End of the season...(sob)

Last Friday marked the end of another year of T-Ball for our household. I can hardly hold back the tears. I volunteered to make treats for the last game. For some reason I felt like celebrating.

It could be that I was thrilled not to have three mornings a week tied up with lugging two official LUG-NUTS, and two mascot honorary lug-nuts, out to ball practice and games. (My kids were on a team called the "Lug-Nuts") Or it could be the joy I felt because I could stop threatening my children with all day lock down because of their rotten attitudes at practice. Or it could be that I felt obligated to bring treats for the coach who so graciously and tenderly gave his time and energy to these awkward yet aspiring athletes. Or it could be that I am just a super mom who loves to display her talent in corny little cupcake ways. Or it could be that despite it all, I love my kiddos a whole lot and couldn't resist a little celebration.






Here is the Lug-Nut that earned herself the title of "Most Improved" player. Of course she ended her season like a trooper and I think would have been all guns to play another four weeks. Well, that might be a stretch, but she certainly made an attitude turn-around and made us very proud of her perseverance.




Nicholas had a great season. His improvement from last year was astounding. He earned the title of, "Greatest Outfielder". He had a blast meeting up with four other members of his St. Thomas class each week and he will certainly miss the interaction with them. He is already looking forward to coach pitch next year...me, not so much.