Swimsuit

I wrote this piece about two years ago, one less child. It relates so much to where I am at today-needing to do this all over again (I'm doing it on-line this year)-that I thought it was worth re-visiting. Enjoy.

Today I did something that every woman...large or small, short or tall, petite or not at all, absolutely dreads. Swimsuit shopping!!

I am not sure what came over me when I entered the luring aisles of that department store. Maybe it was the geometrical hypnosis of the polka dots and stripes. Maybe it was the brilliancy of the lime greens, electric blues, and canary yellows. Maybe it is just the simple fact that it is January, cold, and drab and the refreshing thought of a sunny day on the sand appealed to my inborn "buyer" genes. Whatever the cause, it hit me like a bad cold in July.

I perused through the racks of stringy, thong-y, barely-there suits, wishing that there was a body under my sweat suit to wear such femininity. Then I saw the "average woman" section and with head down made my way to the "appropriate over 30, or post three children suits". The selection was still good, as most South Dakotans have thermal underwear on their brain and not summer lingerie. So I chose a couple and made my way to the dressing room.

There is nothing like a swimsuit to destroy a budding positive self-image. My suggestion is that if you are ever feeling to good about yourself, your legs, your butt, your boobs, your arms, your tummy...take a trip to the swimsuit shop and bring yourself up close with reality! Of course trying on a swimsuit is especially fun in January, when your dented, stretched, varicose legs and thighs are lily white. But add to that a bloated tummy from pre-menstruation and you have yourself a downright hilarious situation.

Well, after I recovered from the shock of what my body had become I sucked it up and realized that with three children, who love to swim, I had little in the way of options. Either find a suit that would make the least of a scene at the outdoor pool or be a mom that the children remember as a "fuddy duddy". I came home with an over-priced, under-supportive piece of clothing feeling very good about my purchase.

I knew that I would have to try it on for my husband...it would need to pass his inspection. I think that every man should know that it takes the courage of facing down a lion to try on a swimsuit, not to mention the psychological preparation necessary to actually wear it in front of others.

So when a wife does try on her swimsuit for her husband his first response should be something that he can find that he DOES like about it. Not a lie. We aren’t expecting a “oh honey you look hot!” We wouldn’t believe it anyway. He doesn't have to like it, but there must be something about it that he can compliment. For example, "I love that color on you", or "stripes on a swimsuit are very attractive". That is all. Say no more, say no less and you should get out of it without any rolling eyes or swinging fists.