The Invisible Woman

(Thanks Carrie for passing this along...it's a message worth sharing, even if I didn't write it.)



It started to happen gradually ...

One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?" “Nobody," he shrugged. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking.

I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more.
Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going¸ she's going¸ she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I Read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals- we have no record of his or her names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God Whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own Self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no Cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but also at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Just had to share

I do not know

if there is anything

more precious than

the love of a sibling.

10 Things About My Husband....

1. He's pragmatic. At least that is what he's been told, and after looking up the definition...I agree 100%.

2. He always assumes the best about people.

3. He does not read body language. Unless I say, "Chad I am very angry with you." Chad does not know that I am very angry with him.

4. Appearances mean very little to him. Which explains why I look like I do most of the time.

5. He eats anything that I cook. He never complains about my lack of creativity or culinary shortcomings.

6. He is a natural athlete. So being his opponent is not always fun.

7. He hates gossip.

8. He is far more patient than I.

9. He prays with our kids every night that he is here.

10. He loves me.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABE!

Thank you Animal Planet...thank you very much.

Although we know that NO television station, other than EWTN, can be watched un-policed by we the parents...we are pretty comfortable with letting Nicholas watch an occasional Animal Planet show. He is fascinated with all things wild and most of the time we all enjoy a good episode of "Extreme Cats" or "Merekat Manor" together.

Recently, Nicholas was not feeling well and asked to lay on our bed and watch Animal Planet. We obliged our ailing child and after watching a few minutes of a show all about Ostriches, felt confident to leave the room and allow him some rest time with the tube on.

Chad and I came back in later to check on him and this is the conversation which ensued:

Nicholas: "Dad! Did you know that ostriches mate!?"

Dad: "Really Nic? Cool."

Nicholas: "Yeah dad, the boy ostrich sits on the girl ostrich and then he does a funny dance."

Allll righty then. I guess he has to learn it somewhere.

Book worm intimidation

There is something about a book worm that just intimidates the crap out of me. You know who you are...the person who has a book shelf resembling that of the local library. The person who knows exactly what influence Willa Cather had on the feminist writing movement. The person who can quote one liners from any genre of great classic literature. The person who has a blog that is bogged down with title after title of their most favorite reads.

Yes, you make me uncomfortable! Why you ask? Well, I'm an English major and I guess that is supposed to make me more prone to the love of all things wordy. I like to talk. I like to write. I don't know that I don't like literature, but I certainly do not have a passion for it.

So when I hear someone discussing their vast understanding of some particular piece of literature that they have recently devoured, I feel a sickening in my stomach as I attempt to engage in a quasi-knowledgeable conversation about the long lasting effects that John Q. Author will have on society with his provocative statements about all things social.

I use to love my literature courses in college. I remember staying up late hours finishing the final pages of Thoreau's, "Walden", or Arthur Miller's, "The Death of a Salesman", feeling energized and almost genuis like, by my new understanding of the human soul...only to arrive at class bright and early and have my professor commence to completely re-interpret all that I had come to understand. I would walk out of the classroom feeling like I would be unable to make a knowledgeable assessment of literature without a three degree professor standing beside me to explain the layers of deeper meaning hidden within the text.

Now my idea of great literature is the kind that I, the all.powerful.knowledgable.mom, can explain to a three-year-old without having to ask my husband if there was a deeper meaning that I missed.

The scent of a woman

I do not have a fragrance...an odor maybe, but not a fragrance. And well, let's face it, the two are really quite different.

I am a bit shy to admit it, because well, don't all women have a signature scent? If not a signature scent then at least they have some consistently pleasant smell. Even my 90 year-old granny knew the importance of always smelling nice. And she always did.

I do not know exactly when I stopped wearing perfume, and I do not know exactly why I stopped wearing perfume...but I did. Somewhere between pregnancies and breastfeeding I must have decided that the odors coming from my body could not be masked with some heavy-scented, over-priced, fragrance. Not to mention the damage I was possibly doing to the tear ducts and sniffing glands of my infants' eyes and nose.

So I just switched to lightly scented shampoos and body lotions. And while that can be a nice change, it just isn't the same as that sexy, mysterious scent of a woman who has dabbed some magic potion behind her ears, knees and on her wrists.

But now I am not pregnant or nursing and I am looking to be a lady of mystery again. (Which is probably what led to me getting pregnant...) Or at least a lady that doesn't smell like baby lotion and sweaty toddlers. As with most things feminine...I need a little help. What is the hot perfume these days?

Toss me some ideas please, what drives your man wild? Or at least makes it obvious to the opposite sex that you are a woman. Maybe I'll use my birthday money on a bottle of sweet smelling nectar.

A mother's prayer on the first day of school...

Dear Lord Jesus,

Please send sunshine today. As I will need it for an excuse to wear my shades. You see, Father, today I'm sending my babies off to school...and I will most certainly have tears in my eyes.

I am not ashamed to admit that I feel sadness about this day. But just like always Lord, You send joy to cover our sorrow...always. So as my heart aches in thought of turning over my children for seven hours a day to the care and instruction of another, I feel much joy in knowing that they are growing, learning, and being taught by people of God.

May they be a witness Lord, even at a young age, to their peers. May all that we have taught them at home hold fast and strong in the face of pressure. Above all, may their deep love for You shine like a beacon to those around them.

Be with them today Lord...even when I can not. At every turn and with every emotion that arises may they feel Your presence and know Your peace. Be with me today Lord...even when they can not. At every turn and with every emotion that arises may I feel Your presence and know Your peace.

Bless the teachers with patience and perseverance. With gentleness and resolve. With knowledge and humbleness. Prepare them for the flood of energy they will encounter and help them to curb that energy into productive learning. Bless them for their sacrifice and hard work on behalf of my children. Help me not to take them for granted and to offer my own hands for the benefit of all.

Yes Father, send sunshine today. Be our sunshine today. I will certainly need my sunglasses to hide these tears.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Things I learned on a road trip with friends....

1. Six hours in a car with two other women is TOTALLY different than 6 hours in a car with kids.

2. Accents are sexy. But the novelty wears off quickly when you can't understand your waiter.

3. Hikes are quite different than walks.

4. Always take a water bottle when wandering off into the woods.

5. Strangers on the hi-way are friendly enough to help three women in distress. But they will find it amusing.

6. A Diet Coke never tastes better than after an unplanned 3 hour hike.

7. Life is short and sometimes tough. Friends sure make it better.

8. If a corset is the only way to get cleavage and a 25 inch waist...count me out.

9. Dress up is still fun even at almost 30.

10. The resort we stayed at serves 5 kinds of dessert...the only one I know for sure though is Key Lime Pie.

11. Some conversations just can't wait until tomorrow. Even if it keeps you up until 2:30am.

12. Mice don't like thunderstorms.

13. Mice may seek shelter in parked vehicles during a thunderstorm.

14. I'm not okay with sharing my vehicle with a mouse and his hoochie.

15. By standers may get a chuckle out of seeing an almost 30 year old scream like a girl and refuse to get into her van. I'm okay with that.

16. De-con can take up to 4 days to kill a mouse.

17. Someone needs to invent a mouse killing spray, dead on contact.

18. A can of high powered cockroach and wasp spray just might do the trick.

19. But it should not be inhaled by people.

20. Hot tubs should not be a used as fore-play unless it's in your own back yard.

21. I'm not the only mom who does not appreciate water splashing in my face.

22. I don't sleep well anywhere. It's not just here at home.

23. My friend, Teresa, may be tiny, but her faith sure is big.

24. We only have to take life as serious as we choose, and Carrie chooses to laugh.

25. I am blessed beyond measure.

What can I say....?

....about a man who loves me this much? Chad you are amazing.

So, I return home from my scheduled, planned, known-about, prepared for, in control of, TRIP with two (we so missed you Holly) of my dearest friends, only to be completely and totally floored when I came home to a house full of family and friends brought together by my sneaky husband for a surprise birthday party!

Do none of you know me? Hello! A surprise party? IF this was my cup of tea you'd totally have been receiving hints about how nice a SURPRISE party would be....IF this was my cup of tea my reaction would not have been so amusing, I realize this.

The real thing is, I have a husband that is just knock-my-socks off wonderful and even though he knows me well enough to know that a surprise party wouldn't be my first choice, it would be a great way to let me know just how deeply he honors me, appreciates me and likes to have the upper hand. I guess that's love folks.

Thank you. Thank you to my husband for doing it even though you knew it would FREAK me out. Thank you to my family for spending your Sunday afternoon with me to celebrate, even though it meant long drives. Thank you to my friends for choosing to include me in your life. I realize that I can be a difficult gal to love some days...but you all are amazing!

HOWEVER, to a certain two individuals....and I'm pretty sure that you know who you are...YOU CALL YOURSELVES FRIENDS? Three nights of sharing WAY to much personal space and personal information and still no heads up? No hinting that I should be 'prepared'? No little "we know something that you don't. (wink*wink)" No "we have something we can't tell you but if you guess...(opps she guessed it)" Seriously, what were you thinking? I love you guys!

Well, here's the surprise party. As for the girls trip....I might be talked into sharing.

Cool Slideshows!

It's not all about me...

There is a fine line between the need for healthy free time and the selfish ugly sister, "me time".

Even though I do not have a heavy-handed, chauvinistic, 1950's mentality husband....I do have a man that loves me, works hard, and likes it when I'm around. (Not really sure why, but he does.) So on the days when I am feeling extremely overwhelmed by the pressure of being NEEDED 18 of the 24 hours in a day we sometimes have to find an effective way to communicate our needs to one another.

Chad enjoys our family time in the evenings. I enjoy our family time in the evenings as well...most days. But there are those rare occasions when I am climbing the walls and ready to pounce on him the second he walks in the door. Some days I just need OUT!

But I struggle with leaving the house for a girls night out, an extended length grocery run, or just to browse the shops downtown, because I feel guilt about not wanting to be home with the ones who apparently want me there so badly. And it never helps if my husband's response to my announcement of "I need to get out of here for a while", is less than understanding, enthusiastic, and 100% supported. That only adds to the guilt that I feel while gone and the time away seems wasted.

Chad and I both acknowledge and repent of the ugly sin of selfish in our own lives. We try to hold one another accountable for this sin. It is a constant struggle to remind ourselves that our needs, wants, and desires must come in line with God's.

So, recently as we were sharing about this (not in a moment of me needing out), I tried to communicate to Chad that it isn't out of a need for 'me time' as much as a need to be un-needed for a time. I want to be a better mom because I am calm, responsive, and loving to my family...and in order to do that I need short, regular moments of time where no one is requiring my attention.

I shared my opinion with him, of why you often hear women in their 50's, now without children around, talking of all that they are going to do for them self, and even sometimes leaving their spouse. It is partially a result of a husband and wife, who in the early years of marriage, didn't realize that asking for an hour or two away to re-charge and re-discover our love for our family, would not make us want more and more time away, but quite contrarily it would make us long to be with these people who so love us and understand our needs.

I think that it is so important for moms and dads to have those moments when we are allowed to just be away from our families. This is my perspective as a full time stay-at-home mom. It is also important that we, as well as our spouses, try to support one another in these needs and realize that it isn't a statement about how much the other one wants their own space...as it is a realization that we are better parents when we are given the chance to miss our families.

Saaa-wheeett

An entire meal of sweet corn...

Ridiculous customs

Does it baffle anyone else when people, sometimes complete strangers, sometimes a face you've seen in various places across town but don't actually know, pass you in a parking lot, shopping center, gas station, WHATEVER, and toss out the obligatory phrase: "How are you doing?", or "How are you?", or any version of such nonsense?

Why do we do that?

I don't do that. And do you know what image that gives me? Cold, pre-occupied, snobbish, and rude. All because I feel no obligation whatsoever to ask the lady I see approaching my vicinity of the grocery aisle how she is doing. When we both know full well that no answer other than "good" or "fine" is acceptable in this customary exchange. Seriously, how would the game change if just once I responded with, "well since you asked...I'm feeling completely devastated."?

I don't play this game. And you know what? I am no less caring, compassionate, or thoughtful than those who do. When I ask someone how they 'are', I actually want to know because I care about them. Not because I care about how I might come across if I don't.

The rest of the story...

I will forewarn you that this will probably be of little interest to you unless you are related to me. This is a handful of the pictures I snapped while back visiting my mom, who was watching my nieces and nephew.

At the end of the summer my nephew, Jacob, will be moving with his family to Arizona. While it will be heartbreaking to know that we will see even less of him, I couldn't be more happy for the fabulous family that he has and trust that God will lead them where they need to be and bring them back around when we need to see them! I pray that his journey will be filled with joy and that he will return often for more summer visits with Grandpa and Grandma. We love him so much!

Shane and Dawn's girls were visiting as well. Evie Jo is 6 (birthday on the 11th), and Elaina is three. So obviously they are a perfect fit for my girls. There is very little 'watching' involved when they get together. You hardly see them. They rush around from one activity to the next only pausing to re-fuel with a quick bite to eat or a hug from mom and grandma. They fill every moment together with as much love as possible. Just to be sure that it holds them over until the are together again. One of my highlights from the visit was when I had all four girls in the van with me and they were belting out the words, along with Shania Twain, to "Man, I feel like a woman!"....talk about some serious girl power!

My sister came down with her two little ones for one of the days as well. Angel is 2 and Thomas just turned one on the 8th of August. So, needless to say, the house was hopping!

I'll be back to posting something other than slide shows tomorrow...until then bear with me.

We love you Evie!

H*A*P*P*Y B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y

E*V*I*E J*O*!!

Fall camping...in August

Have you been missin' me? Not feeling so much love from you all...well, I take that back. Kerrie, Teresa, and Elizabeth- thanks for checking in on me!

We left last Friday for a camping trip with our friends. Every time that we go camping I pack jeans and sweatshirts for everyone just in case. They always come home un-worn...but it's better to be safe than sorry, right? Well, not this time. I didn't pack them. I figured, it's been like 95 degrees with 90% humidity...ain't gonna need them. WRONG! The weather was AWESOME for camping, cool, overcast, if you were prepared for it. We coped by cuddling around the campfire and nothing sounded sweeter than the rainfall that played a lullaby as it pattered on my camper all night long.

In the first photo you'll notice a large Winnebago being PULLED by our little Power Donkey Dakota. The last 10 miles into the campground were a mix of our husbands laid out on the road banging on equipment under the Winney, and then a quick firing up and flooring it, only to be followed by a 1/2 mile of coasting over to the shoulder again. After about four of these stops, Chad and I took our camper and vehicles ahead to set up, then came back to pull our friends in. If we didn't look like a red-neck, hillbilly crew...I don't know what would. But, we made it. You should have seen the looks on the poor campers around us.

Despite the rocky start to our weekend, we really could not have asked for a more perfect weekend for camping. We didn't get to sit down by the water soaking up the rays but we had a great time. Bike rides, hiking, camp fires, games...that's what it's all about. Enjoy the show.

Gotta get me some....

Do you have a hobby? Everyone has a hobby, right?

I don't have a hobby. I need to get a hobby. I'm wondering, though, if I am too old to develop a hobby. Are there websites set up for people looking for a hobby? Maybe I could go browse around for a few hours in "Hobby Lobby". That ought to help...but I'd probably just purchase many unnecessary craft items that I would never complete because I do not like to craft. Maybe that's my hobby, shopping.

Shouldn't we all have a hobby? Something we look forward to doing when we are able to steal away a few hours by ourselves? I like to write. But I wouldn't call this a hobby. Now for some of you, yes, blogging is a hobby. Me, not so much. I know, I know, I will have those who argue that...but you are wrong. I like to write. My blog allows me that.

Don't misunderstand, I enjoy blogging. I enjoy peeking in the windows of strangers homes and seeing that there are many more crazies in the world like me. But it is definitely not a hobby. Not a passion. Not an obsession. Seriously. (Do I sound like an addict trying to convince you?)


Enjoying something isn't the same thing as a hobby. I enjoy a soak in the tub, I enjoy a glass of wine, I enjoy chocolate, I enjoy a good movie. But none of these would qualify as hobbies for me.

Golfing, knitting, scrapbooking, biking, gardening, painting, reading...these are hobbies, just not my hobbies. So, I'm wondering...what's your hobby?

Four dead "fetus's"

I just don't know what to think about stuff like this. (please click the link...the article is short) Well, I do know what to think of it, I just can't stomach it.

This excerpt was taken from our local paper via the associated press:

"The timing in Freeman's case is critical. If the pre-term infants were too young to be considered viable outside the womb, Freeman can't be charged with murder. And if they were old enough to live outside the womb, but died before Maryland passed its 2005 fetal homicide law, it may not be a crime even if Freeman caused their deaths.

The law, designed to penalize those who kill a pregnant woman or her viable fetus, includes a provision shielding pregnant women from prosecution for actions that result in their own fetus's death.

The exemption, meant to preserve the right to an abortion hasn't been challenged in the courts...."

Reasons I look forward to fall...

1. Yeah, this is much prettier than the brown hue my grass has taken on.



2. Drinking this in the morning when temperatures actually make sense for such beverages.



3. Wearing my Shade tops. I've worn the short sleeved versions all summer, but layering is so much more fun in cooler temps.



4. NFL baby! Yes, I am a CRAZY football fan, although I enjoy watching the Vikings and Broncos, I am crazy about them all. I love it...I love it...I love it.


5. Yeah, so looking forward to slipping into my Silver's again. Key words, slipping into, as opposed to the pouring into I've had to do all summer in the humidity!


I love summer. Really I do. And this is not a complaint driven post. I will enjoy every last ray of hot summer sun and I will certainly miss it come January. But oh do I love Fall.