a message to my son

After sitting through a very tough basketball game, and I've sat through many tough ones before, I felt at a loss as to what I could say to my son, who obviously held himself completely to blame for the turnout.  I wanted to reassure him, but I knew his disappointment was coming from a very real place.  He didn't play well.  He expected so much more of himself.  And he knew that he let his teammates down.  I couldn't just say, "Well, everyone has a bad game."or "You'll get em next time."  It wouldn't fix anything.

I felt very helpless and sad for him.  So instead of saying much of anything, I relished in his desire to sit close to me and just soak up my love through osmosis.  Letting my unwavering faith in him slowly bring him peace.  Even if he had doubts about how his teammates or coach felt about his performance, he knew that I loved him the same.

It was after a night of sleep and prayer for him that I felt compelled to send him the following message on his iPod.  I am sharing this not because I wish to disclose every intimate detail of my life....but because I think this is a message many parents would want their son or daughter to know regarding sports or any extra-curricular activity.

"I know how great your disappointment is in yourself over the loss.  I don't have a 'fix-it' answer.  I know that it hurts when we slip short of what we expect of ourselves.  But you must remember, that even though you love basketball, it is just a game.  It is my prayer for you, that the disappointment you feel about your court-side short-comings pales in comparison to how you feel when you fall short in the game of life, which really isn't a game at all.  Hold yourself MORE accountable in how you treat others than how you play on a court.  The treasures you 'lay-up' in heaven are of far greater worth than the lay-ups on the basketball court.  I love you, Mom"